alt_molly | Order Only: What on EARTH?

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I went out to feed the chickens this morning and I almost stumbled over a sack, sitting on the doorstep. It had the official Ouroborus seal on it, so you can imagine how startled I was! And I detected a charm on it, so that only I could see it. It dissipated as soon as I opened the drawstring.

I opened it, and it was FULL of Galleons! I haven't counted them yet--

Is this some sort of set up, so that I can be accused of theft? I can't deny I opened it, because the charm is gone.

Why in Merlin's name would someone at the Ministry give me a SACK FULL OF GALLEONS?!

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From:

alt_ron

Yeah.

So I'm not telling them, but I just got back from talking with Himself in the suite he's staying in. It's off near the Divination tower. (Castle's outdone itself, by the way.)

Any wiz. He wanted to talk about my family. And also, y'know, why he should be impressed with me.

From:

alt_sally_anne

What did you say?

Do you think he's going to Mark you tonight, as well as marrying Daphne and Crouch?

From:

alt_ron

No idea. He definitely didn't share that plan if he's got one.

He wanted to know why he should Mark me when Percy couldn't manage to be much use.

I laughed. (Horrible, I know, but I couldn't help it. It was the way he said it.)

So then I had to tell him Percy always was a bit of a tit. And he never fit in with the rest of us very well. And not for the reasons Percy thought. (That's what I told him, anywiz. Because I expect he knows exactly what Percy thought.) I told him it's not that we're less loyal or less clever or less ambitious than Percy. (I said I meant Bill and Charlie are obviously ambitious in their work and good at it, too.) The difference was how Percy thought he was better than everyone else and not just us, but definitely starting with us. Especially Mum and Dad, and that's just not on.

Anywiz, that's the way I spun it.

From:

alt_sally_anne

I think that was probably the best possible response. I mean both from the standpoint of convincing everyone that you'd be a good Auror and a good Councilwizard but also just to stay out of trouble.

I wonder if he noticed he couldn't read your mind.

From:

alt_ron

I've been wondering that, too. Was wondering it the whole time.

I mean, I think he must've. If he's really All That as a legilimens. I mean that's what people've been saying as long as I can remember, right? That he's the greatest legilimens ever? And, yeah, I know Hydra says different legilimens read occlusion and animagery differently, but still.

Only, he didn't ask. Or, y'know, say anything to hint he'd noticed.

I kept expecting him to say, 'So, Animagus Weasley, what form do you take?' or something. And I'd have to have told him. I mean, no point lying when the next thing would be a command to show him, right?

From:

alt_sally_anne

You would have had to tell him. And probably also show him.

And then he'd probably have Marked you right there on the spot, I mean you turn into a SNAKE.

From:

alt_ron

Oh. Ha.

Well, I hope he likes it if he ever does ask.

I mean, I sort of think he must know and he's waiting to ask until he decides to stage his big And Now I'm Either Going to Mark You or Kill You! scene. The one where he decides whether he trusts me or not. So it'd be really nift if he decides it's a fortunate omen my form is a snake.

Mind you, I might end up spending the rest of my life coiled around his arm, talking parseltongue with him. I'll have to ask Pansy if she knows any clever snake jokes.

From:

alt_ron

So I can keep him entertained.

From:

alt_sally_anne

If he decides he'd like a Gryffindor snake pet, you can lull him into a false sense of security and wait for an opportunity to nick the pin, right?

And jokes, hmm, I think the key is to remember the punch line is less important than the setup, which should always focus on why snakes are better than other animals, Slytherins are better than other Houses, and His Pretentiousness is better than other people.