Order only: Private message to Charlie

[alt_molly]

I stopped by to visit Tonks this weekend, and my goodness, she looks about ready to pop!

I know she has plenty of help, and she's already an experienced Mum, but I'm dying to ask whether I might come stay with her and Remus and Sirius and Bea, after the baby comes. Not right away, of course, and not for long. Do think if I ask the idea would be welcome or unwelcome? Or is it the sort of thing where she would say 'Yes' while gritting her teeth, waiting for me to leave her in peace?

It might help a little, if only to help keep Miss Bea's nose from going out of joint. I don't want to intrude, but oh, it IS my first grandchild!

What is your advice? Should I ask? Or would you be more comfortable asking her for me? It might be less embarrassing for her to tell me through you, if she wants to say 'No.'

Comments

[alt_charlie]

Merlin's balls beard, it's no wonder she's ready to get this baby out into the world: she's even more huge than she was last week, even. From what I remember, she's even bigger than you were when you were pregnant with Ron! And he's kicking up a storm. I put my ear on the bump so I could listen for him, and he kicked me in the side of the head.

I have to say, I'm counting on the fact that Tonks has been through this before. Because I'll be honest with you, Mum, I'm kind of terrified. I mean, we made a person. And that person's going to be totally dependent on us for at least the next few years. I think it didn't really feel real until the first time I felt him kick me, and it's been getting realer and realer ever since.

And, you know. I've been looking for a way to ask this for a while, and I haven't quite come up with a good one, so ... I guess I'll just ask it. Back when you were pregnant with Bill, and I guess again with me. Did you ever talk about what you should do with your work for the Order, and with how dangerous it could be? I mean, Tonks already thought it through back when she and Remus were having Bea, the part about "can I bring a child into this world and not feel guilty", and we talked about what will happen if one of us gets hurt or killed as part of all this -- that's part of the reason why I'm so glad that we have Sirius and Remus and you and Bill and, hell, Alice and Frank. Somebody will be able to take care of him, no matter what. And the work with the Order is important enough that it's worth doing, no matter the price -- that's not what I'm worried about.

But I've been thinking a lot about my job, and how dangerous it is, and how it will mean I don't get to spend anywhere near as much time with him as I'm sure I'll want to, when he's born, and ... I don't know. I don't want to quit my job -- the Order needs the money, and what little access to dragon's blood and dragon scales and the occasional dragon heartstring and the like that I can turn up. But I don't want my kid to grow up without me because I got hurt on the job, or grow up with me being the bloke that comes in once or twice a week, and I'm not sure I can reconcile the two. And I'd talk to Alice or Frank about how they decided to leave Neville and Evelyn with Augusta, but that's kind of a sore subject right now.

Sorry. I know this isn't the kind of thing that writing in the journals is good for. We can talk on Sunday, maybe.

[alt_molly]

There's so much I would want to say about this, but the question just floods me with memories. I'm afraid this is a too large a subject for me to write about very coherently.
Ordinarily, yes, I would advise you to speak to Alice and Frank about their experience, and yes, obviously that's impossible right now.

The only thing I can pluck out of all my swirling thoughts is that the Protectorate is dealing out death, but having babies is a defiant vote for life instead. Even if a parent dies, the children go on. YOU are going on, even though Arthur is gone. Do I wish that I hadn't had you, and your brothers and sister, because he is dead? Of course not! We lost Percy, but every single one of the rest of you are furthering his work.

I know your work with the dragons is dangerous, trust me, I know. And I know Bill's in danger and Ron's in danger, and the twins are in danger with every single experiment they try with that mad Fu Lee. And it's no picnic for Ginny, either, stuck in Hogwarts with Ron and dealing with terrible professors. But we're doing it, love. We're so much further along at figuring out how to break the Protectorate than we were when your father died, and he would have been so proud of you. Of all of us.

Lastly, I have no doubt that you will be the most wonderful father. How could you help but be so, with Arthur Weasley as your example?

I love you, son. Yes, we'll talk further Sunday.