Merlin's balls beard, it's no wonder she's ready to get this baby out into the world: she's even more huge than she was last week, even. From what I remember, she's even bigger than you were when you were pregnant with Ron! And he's kicking up a storm. I put my ear on the bump so I could listen for him, and he kicked me in the side of the head.
I have to say, I'm counting on the fact that Tonks has been through this before. Because I'll be honest with you, Mum, I'm kind of terrified. I mean, we made a person. And that person's going to be totally dependent on us for at least the next few years. I think it didn't really feel real until the first time I felt him kick me, and it's been getting realer and realer ever since.
And, you know. I've been looking for a way to ask this for a while, and I haven't quite come up with a good one, so ... I guess I'll just ask it. Back when you were pregnant with Bill, and I guess again with me. Did you ever talk about what you should do with your work for the Order, and with how dangerous it could be? I mean, Tonks already thought it through back when she and Remus were having Bea, the part about "can I bring a child into this world and not feel guilty", and we talked about what will happen if one of us gets hurt or killed as part of all this -- that's part of the reason why I'm so glad that we have Sirius and Remus and you and Bill and, hell, Alice and Frank. Somebody will be able to take care of him, no matter what. And the work with the Order is important enough that it's worth doing, no matter the price -- that's not what I'm worried about.
But I've been thinking a lot about my job, and how dangerous it is, and how it will mean I don't get to spend anywhere near as much time with him as I'm sure I'll want to, when he's born, and ... I don't know. I don't want to quit my job -- the Order needs the money, and what little access to dragon's blood and dragon scales and the occasional dragon heartstring and the like that I can turn up. But I don't want my kid to grow up without me because I got hurt on the job, or grow up with me being the bloke that comes in once or twice a week, and I'm not sure I can reconcile the two. And I'd talk to Alice or Frank about how they decided to leave Neville and Evelyn with Augusta, but that's kind of a sore subject right now.
Sorry. I know this isn't the kind of thing that writing in the journals is good for. We can talk on Sunday, maybe.
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Date: 2015-01-29 05:07 pm (UTC)Merlin's
ballsbeard, it's no wonder she's ready to get this baby out into the world: she's even more huge than she was last week, even. From what I remember, she's even bigger than you were when you were pregnant with Ron! And he's kicking up a storm. I put my ear on the bump so I could listen for him, and he kicked me in the side of the head.I have to say, I'm counting on the fact that Tonks has been through this before. Because I'll be honest with you, Mum, I'm kind of terrified. I mean, we made a person. And that person's going to be totally dependent on us for at least the next few years. I think it didn't really feel real until the first time I felt him kick me, and it's been getting realer and realer ever since.
And, you know. I've been looking for a way to ask this for a while, and I haven't quite come up with a good one, so ... I guess I'll just ask it. Back when you were pregnant with Bill, and I guess again with me. Did you ever talk about what you should do with your work for the Order, and with how dangerous it could be? I mean, Tonks already thought it through back when she and Remus were having Bea, the part about "can I bring a child into this world and not feel guilty", and we talked about what will happen if one of us gets hurt or killed as part of all this -- that's part of the reason why I'm so glad that we have Sirius and Remus and you and Bill and, hell, Alice and Frank. Somebody will be able to take care of him, no matter what. And the work with the Order is important enough that it's worth doing, no matter the price -- that's not what I'm worried about.
But I've been thinking a lot about my job, and how dangerous it is, and how it will mean I don't get to spend anywhere near as much time with him as I'm sure I'll want to, when he's born, and ... I don't know. I don't want to quit my job -- the Order needs the money, and what little access to dragon's blood and dragon scales and the occasional dragon heartstring and the like that I can turn up. But I don't want my kid to grow up without me because I got hurt on the job, or grow up with me being the bloke that comes in once or twice a week, and I'm not sure I can reconcile the two. And I'd talk to Alice or Frank about how they decided to leave Neville and Evelyn with Augusta, but that's kind of a sore subject right now.
Sorry. I know this isn't the kind of thing that writing in the journals is good for. We can talk on Sunday, maybe.